fileg (fileg) wrote,
fileg
fileg

Feedback

The section outside the cut has been slightly edited after sleeping

This is not a rant, but we got our Mithril comments back and I do have a few things I want to say. I am keeping them here, because I really have no interest in the big brouhaha.

I want to talk about Jim's feedback first, (and this is as close to a rant as I will get.) Jim got this remark as part of his feedback on his story Whistling Past The Graveyard though what annoys me about it is not specific to the story:

Very atmospheric, though the gap it fills is not necessarily one that needs filling.

I do understand what this reviewer means, or I think I do - but that isn't what is being said. Please! It's fanfiction - either *every* gap is worth thinking about or *none* is.

If none, we can all hang up our pixels, folks.

Jim's vignette contrasts the way two different members of the fellowship, raised in two different cultures, react when confronted with the dead. It also, though seen through Boromir's eyes, gives us a look at Gimli's culture, and how the fellowship allow his spiritual needs to take the lead in the desecrated graveyard of Moria, where the dead are his own.

If these things are not worth considering, none of my little parallel symbolism moments has any reason to exist either.

I can feel myself getting a little ranty, so I will stop there and let you tell me what you think about that statement.

Inside the cut is my feedback, both good and bad and for the moment, without comment. (What I am leaving out is feedback on Corsairs, which was a collaboration)

I am slightly infamous at HASA for showing my review decisions without permission. Sorry - you gave them to me, they're mine now. Generally I only show my declines because I am not about to edit a story without getting more than one opinion.

I seldom edit a story at that stage, since I don't usually show them until I think I am done, and there is no future in trying to please everybody. But I have gotten some excellent suggestions for improving a spot, bandied them about in my forum, and fixed them.

This entry is meant to give me a permanent record, but I also welcome comments, pro and con. In a day or two I will be asking a couple of specific questions about places I am considering editing.



feed (back) the fileg

Lord of the Rings: Gifts of Life
This won the category, and I am proud of that, in spite of all the negative discussion and arguing. I was surprised that it, of all my stories, won, because I don't think it is my strongest work. (My Gimli is based on my friend Christopher Quinn - if he had had that air conditioner dropped on him before I wrote it, I might have given Gimil a lovely dueling scar)

- This was well written, wonderfully paced, and had an excellent style. The dialogue was such that I could hear the characters saying the same things in actual Tolkien. It really made me think of hobbit culture, and of dwarven culture. It captures the spirit of Tolkien’s world, in all its complexities. The reason that this didn’t make the list was simply that when I went back over the stories again, in an attempt to narrow it down, for a moment or two I didn’t remember what this story was about. It just wasn’t as memorable as the others in the group.

- Original and very well crafted. Good dialogue & ensemble writing; lovely thoughtful concept. Perfect for this category.

Gapfiller: Gifts of Life
this took the silver, or runner up spot in this category

- Beautifully moving and fills a gap in a really original way.

- This was well written, wonderfully paced, and had an excellent style. The dialogue was such that I could hear the characters saying the same things in actual Tolkien. It showed the time before Aragorn’s wedding and the gift making in a way I’d never thought of before. It really made me think of hobbit culture, and of dwarven culture. It captures the spirit of Tolkien’s world, in all its complexities.

- Thoughtfully written and not drawn out. Practically flawless. Style beautifully handled. Touches on friendships forged by the Fellowship not often found in fic, and relates well the altruism of the friendships about which Tolkien wrote. Wonderfully in character, giving readers a rare glimpse of Gimli’s “softer side,” if I may use those words.

Alternative universe or crossover: The Corsair Papers
This made the finals, but I have not discussed showing this feedback with Flick, so I won't. I was surprised and pleased it got noticed, and I will tell you I feel I had little to do with it beyond the idea for a song and introducing Flick and Lee

Hobbits: Telling the Bees
This did not make it to the semi-finals

- Pleasant tale – Sam tells the bees of Frodo’s passing. Simple, atmospheric. But other than beekeeper and a Celtic tradition, little of hobbitry, and Sam refers to himself as ‘a simple man’ – which Sam would never do!

- Reasonable writing, with some nice phrases, but I didn't feel it was *that* special. Occasional grammar/spelling errors annoying in such a short piece. Interesting transferred custom for hobbits. Focuses on Sam, and his feelings about Frodo. Sam refers to himself as 'a simple man', which felt a bit odd in this context.

Men: Breathe
This was a semifinalist in this category

- The author says these three vignettes weren’t written together, and it shows – I don’t think they quite gel, though it’s a valiant attempt. The first one is the most effective, linking a childhood memory to wartime horror, and the last one is moving; the third one does not add much to Faramir’s own description of that scene.

-This is really three stories about Faramir. The first two worked beautifully together; the third seems tacked on, and disrupts the symmetry of the first two.

- A bit too predictable for my taste.

Tolkien character: Breathe
Breathe was commended in this category

- Not sure these fit perfectly. The middle one in particular does not expand very much upon canon. I like the last one best; it’s original and effective.

- Beautifully written, good characterization, but doesn't add much that's not been seen before.

- Lovely characterisations. The first two pieces have a great structure. Last piece is weaker than the first two, which I think stood better alone.

Original character: Slouching Towards Gondolin
Runner up for this category

Very unusual, memorable, interesting writing, suffers a bit in this category as the OC isn't strongly developed as an *individual*

Other races: Slouching Towards Gondolin
Finalist in this category
Slouching
was also the runner up for Best Silmarillion in the Voter's Choice

- Highly original interesting vignette. Interesting choice of voice for the orc, and some lovely writing here. I liked the external view of Elves presented. It misses out a bit because the orc is more a mouthpiece for his race than a real individual, he never comes alive.

- I ADORED this... It's short, simple, raw and terribly believable. It is orc - pure, real and just seething. I don't know how high I can score it simply because there are so many excellent fics in this category, but I liked this VERY much.

- Good idea with some good descriptions. Occasional lapses in tone (e.g. "think they have it all figured out").

Ascension was a semi-finalist for Poetry (long) but generated no reviews
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  • 36 comments

  • sleep talk

    Just before he woke up, jim leaned over and said, "Thank you for helping me with the pork atoms."

  • protons

    Is there a superperson who got their powers from protons? I am getting a second chance at having an origin. I am about to start proton…

  • (no subject)

    Jim came in to check on me while I was napping. I don't know what I was dreaming about, but I asked him why he had ordered the double booked full…