fileg (fileg) wrote,

hi, it's me

the always entertaining mikekellner was discussing the Literary Bad Sex Awards. I was particularly taken by the phrase "They are particularly filthy this year and should be a good introduction to the Christmas party season." I didn't find them particularly filthy, but I guess they can't print the really good ones.

I really need to swap out my icons. How do you guys make those choices? I am totally open to things you think I should retire (for any reason, some are embarrassingly old) , and things you think I need (or need new versions of) I have two journals with over 100 spots, so I ought to be able to get some better coverage.

I've been trying to make myself write on a more regular schedule, and I must say, my beloved challenges at tolkien_weekly have not been any help, and I can't wait till the adverbs are over. That's not meant as a slam at them - there's just something in my makeup that doesn't take to this kind of challenge. What matters to me in something as short as a drabble is twofold
a) can I get at an entire thought / make the prompt *mean* something and
b) the use of language.
I realize the adverbs are really no different than if the emotion was the assignment, but -- well, yeah, to me, it is. I would feel like I was cheating if I didn't approach it that way. As soon as I start to think about re-phrasing what I want to say to accommodate a part of speech, I stop thinking about my original need for a whole thought and how to get there. I guess we all have peculiarities that hover over our writing, (care to share?) and I was amazed to find this is one of mine, but there it is.

What I have been doing is using the prompts from Theatrical Muse (which I long ago let lapse, mostly because there were often long stretches where the prompts had nothing to do with my personas.) When TM was first started, the characters I wanted had been assigned before it went public, and although I enjoyed the challenge of working to the two muses I chose, I was always unhappy not to be writing in the voices that spoke so loudly to me. It finally occurred to me that there was no reason not to write in whatever damn voice speaks to me, as long as I keep the words at home -- and that's what I've been doing. Lately (very lately) I decided to allow myself to write in North's voice for myself, and that has proved interesting to me, helping to keep my brain from abandoning that place I love to write best. It's both freeing and confining to wrote to the prompts, and because she is mine, I have the freedom to reinterpret some of the more modern prompts in a way that I, personally, was not comfortable doing for gen characters in my fandom. I hope to keep with it, as it is making me think about finishing some of the story fragments that have been lying in my folder so long. And if she gets enough "face time" behind the scenes, she won't need to intrude into my other work.

I am also finding that everything is taking me more time, as always happens with a big hardware/software upgrade. I have not just moved to the faster machine (Totoro) I've also gone up a bump in several of the things I use every day - Photoshop being the most different. There are some basic things in CS2 that I need to find and make myself comfortable with, and the improved resolution of my screen (Claus' was 17 inches, at 1440x900; Totoro is the same 17 inches at 1680x1050) everything (icons in particular) look like the wrong size at the moment. I will be glad when that feeling that something has gone wrong settles down.

I read two pieces of fiction over the holiday, both Historicals. Under the Eagle: A Tale of Military Adventure and Reckless Heroism with the Roman Legions by Simon Scarrow was the better of the two, but in spite of it's enticing subtitle it failed to deliver for me. It could not decide between being a (fairly transparent) mystery and a history adventure and what got me through it was that I did like young Cato. The other was Hadrian's Wall by William Dietrich. He has some credits (I believe he won a pulitzer) but this was nothing more than a romance masquerading as Historical. And not a good one, either - well, perhaps not so bad a romance, but unbelievably constructed. And this one had the double whammy of offending both my interest in Rome and my Celt nature as well. There's no reason to assign any damn attributes you want to the celtic gods, when it would be just as easy to pick the one who has the attributes you want. It's not like he was keeping anything straight. Anyway, I gobbled them both without putting them down, but they have left me with that sense of why I often just stop reading fiction for long stretches. I certainly didn't feel like I had been reading historicals. Fortunately, I have the next Harry Dresden book, so I should be able to overcome that urge to jump right back into travel narrative.

1. Closest red thing to you?
There's a figure of Edward Elric on the table next to me, stripped to the waist, but holding his red coat.

2. Have you ever fallen down the stairs?
Years ago, in High School, I got in trouble for falling down the up-only staircase.

3. Last thing to make you angry?
Comcast Ad. I cannot get away from them, and they all make me nuts. Earlier it was Newt Gingritch, and I can always be set off by people who are purposefully ignorant and intolerant.

4. Are you a fan of romance?
Not as a genera, though in spite of what I wrote above, I like a good romance in fiction if the story supports it. In my own life? I think I am a hopeless romantic, married to a hopeless romantic.

5. Have you ever been in love?
I'm not sure I know how *not* to be, though I have had a different focus about it since meeting Jim.

6. Do you have a temper?
yes, but for me this is not a RED question. When I'm screaming and slamming about, I'm frustrated. When I am really really angry, I am blue-white cold, you will be sorry angry.

1. Closest green thing to you?
Green is my favorite color, and it looms large here. At the moment, I am leaning against a green cotton blanket woven with three celtic ravens

2. Do you care about the environment?
Yes. But I am more of a think locally/act locally guy. I recycle.
We chose not to have a second car. that sort of thing. And, I vote, which I think counts.

3. Are you jealous of anyone right now?
I am both jealous and not really jealous. In my real life, I'm not - I tend to be content, and I have the luxury of being in charge of my own life. Though there are often things I would like, I don't begrudge those who have them - I think that's a different sin (avarice perhaps?)

But I also have a possessive jealous streak that makes me physically ache over things I ought not to notice (for example, the rampant wimpy Faramir if fanon frequently actually enrages me). The closest I get to a jealousy I can admit to is when people have huge fawning feedback for writing that I think could have it' character's names replaced and be recycled for any random fandom.

4. Are you a lucky person?
Yes. I'm not Teela Brown, but I play her on tv.

5. Do you always want what you can't have?
Not always. For one thing, I have rather a lot, and for another, because of our lifestyle I *can* have most of what I want. It helps to lust within your means. (so, for example, I have a brand new Macbook, because I don't have or want a house, a car, dependents....)

6. Do you like being outdoors?
I like the indoors. I like outdoor things - swimming, gardening, birds. I like the outdoors better in winter.

7. Are you Irish?
Mostly. My maternal grandmother came over from Longford, and the "old world" family I know most about are there.


1. Last purple thing you saw?
I have a small figure of a birdhouse with violets on the shelf to my right.
One of the "settling in" problem I am having with my macbook is that it likes to turn the background color of my desk folders to purple or fuchsia when I close them

2. Like being treated to expensive things?
I like being treated, and I don't care about expensive, I care about emotionally expensive - was there a real knowledge of me there. One of my favorite stories - two of my friends and I were married in three successive weekends. (our anniversary, as you know, is Hallow'een) On our first anniversary, we all received earrings from our spouses (We use Spice for the plural of spouse) Claire got sapphires, Leta got earrings from the Metropolitan Museum (of Leda - a great choice) and I - well I got Hallmark Frankenstein's monster neckbolts that look like they pass through the ear. I win! Every time I wear them, people want to steal them.

3. Do you like mysterious things?
Mysterious, yes. but I also like answers.

4. Favorite type of chocolate?
Milk Chocolate with hazelnuts or macadamia

5. Ever met anyone in royalty?
I have met a writer from my years in SF Fandom that is somewhere in line for an Eastern throne.

6. Are you creative?
Yes, though there are days when all I create is trouble

7. Are you lonely?
No. But sometime at the holidays, when I think of all the people we used to host, I am bemused at how many of them never get in touch these days.


1. Closest yellow thing to you?
Ed's hair on the aforementioned figure, and I am drinking a glass of sugar-free ginger ale.

2. The happiest time[s] of your life
are still coming.

3. Favorite holiday?

4. Are you scared?
Sometimes. I didn't expect to be both so young and so old at this age.

5. Do you burn or tan?
Years of genetics from the ancestors lying about on the Costa Del Liffy?

6. Do you want children?
I always say that persephonesbear had our children. And now even they are grownups.

7. What makes you feel safe?
Being home; being with jim.

1. Closest blue thing to you?
There is a blue tweezerman tweezer in my pocket that I carry as my all purpose belt tool. Great for opening cd plastic, popping pop tops, splinter removal, keyboard de-linting and even the occasional tweezing.

2. Are you good at calming people down?
Not so much. I'm good at soothing after the fact.

3. Do you like the sea?
I could swim before I could walk

4. What was the last thing that made you cry?
I seldom cry from sadness, but I have what my mother referred to as The Irish Disease or having one's bladder in the eye - I am choked up and weeping if I am moved, Beauty, words, a song, a hallmark commercial.....

5. Are you a logical thinker?
Yes, but it isn't earth logic.

6. Can you sleep easily?
no, not the *I need to go to sleep now* thing. There's nothing more certain to keep me awake.

7. Do you prefer the beach or the woods?
I love both, and more importantly Snow and the Ocean. Robin Williamson once told me I must have been meant to live in Wales.


1. Closest pink thing to you?
Pink doesn't happen here much. I can see a figure of Maya from Tenjo Tenge on the bookshelf, she's wearing a pink kimono

2. Do you like sweet things?
I'll say yes, but I am quickly and easily cloyed. I tried to eat a real corn muffin on Thanksgiving morning, and I had to spit it out for being too sweet.

3. Like play-fighting?

4. Are you sensitive?
see The Irish disease above

5. Do you like punk music?
I do. I actually like most kinds of music.

6. What is your favorite flower?
Daffodils, Violets and Yellow Roses

7. Does someone have a crush on you?
I hope so!


1. Closest orange thing to you?
Painting Lee did as a poster for MacBeth, with Groundskeeper Willy as the same

2. Do you like to burn things?
Not as much as jim (or Robin for goodness sake, who repeatedly set her hair on fire at yule by insisting on wearing the Santa Lucia headrdess) I love candles, as long as they don't smell of perfume or sweet fruit.

3. Dress up for Halloween?
Not these days. Years ago, yes - Jim and I once went to a party as Raggedy Ent and Raggedy Android to cover the sf/fantasy bases. But my favorite story is of a little girl a few years ago who made her mom come to the door with her and see that my house was dressed as a library for Halloween

4. Are you usually a warm-hearted person?
depends on who you ask. I think so, but pretty much all of my last encounters with my blood family involved some version of them telling me how cold I am (Remember, these are the people who, at my mother's wake, came up to me at the break and said, "We're all going back to (my mother's sister's) house for dinner - where are you going?")

5. Do you drive on the limit or 5 kilometres over?
I don't drive much these days, and now I tend to do the limit or just over.

6. Do you prefer the single life or the security of a relationship?
A good relationship doesn't take away the advantages of a single life if you do it right (except dating,I guess, and I can't believe that couldn;t be worked out if two people wanted to.) I like being married, I like Jim to be home, I like being an indoor cat. We do almost everything together, but we do a lot of it in companionable quiet.

7. What would your super power be?
Healing. It needs to work on me, too, and I wouldn't mind if rejuvenation was involved. Or the power to use all of my brain, that would be the jazz.

1. What is the closest thing white to you?
Book jacket on the old hardcover Silmarillion

2. Would you say you're innocent?

3. Always try to keep the peace?
no, sometimes people need to clear the air.

4. How do you imagine your wedding?
We were married in the JP's office, in a ceremony my friends complained was not as long as the time it took to put on their pantyhose. And then we were handfasted at Samhain, everyone in costume.

5. Do you like the colour white?
only for symbolism and negative space. And things that are vanilla, the finest of the flavors.

6. Are you afraid of going to the doctor or dentist?
I go to the eye doctor and the dentist without a quibble. I like Jory (our doctor) but doctors make me nervous. And I don't believe on going unless I need something - I'm not convinced about *preventative* medicine.

7. Do you have Attention Deficit Disorder?
I'd say I run more to the compulsive


1. Closest black thing to you?
I'm wearing (what a shock) black jeans

2. Ever enjoy hurting people?
no, but there are a few I get pleasure from fantasizing about getting their comeuppance in whatever way makes the most mess

3. Are you sophisticated or silly?
We often joke when they seat us at a table with a sign that says "reserved" that they are incorrect, and our's ought to say "rowdy." But I have a serous side too. I don't think they are mutually exclusive in any way. Robin, Jim and I once laughed until we were physically sick in a roadside truckstop over a story of a revelation/answer that came to me in a dream in the form of a Henny Youngman style joke.

4. Would you like to go to space?
I even have the pins NASA sold that say I Want To GO

5. Do you have a lot of secrets?
What's a lot? I don't think so/

6. What is your favorite color(s)?
Sea Glass Green, Steel Grey

7. Does the color you wear affect your mood?
No, the other way around.
Tags: introspective

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