fileg (fileg) wrote,

Three Hot Dog Stories

Click here and make some prehistoric appetizers

Damn, now I really want some trilobite cookies. I suppose I could adapt the Cephalopods in a Blanket to be low carb...

* * * * * * *

Seeing these has inspired me to tell you my favorite food story.

When my friend Tim Standish was young, things were pretty tight for awhile, and when he and his siblings wanted to try corn dogs, his mom decided that was something they could make at home. Well, you *can* make them at home, but I don't suggest you use this method.

Tim's mom made up a batch of corn muffin mix, and rolled the hot dogs in the batter, but it wouldn't stay where she wanted it, so to prevent the foreseen mess, she put a brace of four toothpicks in the end of each dog, and used that to support them, each in a standing position in the cup of a muffin tray.

Then the muffin tray went into the oven, where the batter ran down off the dogs and tried to become muffins in the tray cups.

The dogs weren't the best quality either, so they spilt at the top end and the sections curled down to meet the toothpicks, releasing all their grease and juice to float on top of the muffins, underneath the meaty curls.

When they came out of the oven, Tim and his sister just stared in amazement, but his younger brother burst into sobs. They finally calmed him down enough to make out that what he was saying was that he didn't want to eat the "Meat Flowers."

Things turned out ok - they kids got pizza, and Tim got a story he's forced to tell every Thanksgiving. And whenever we are faced with anything unsavory, I get to whisper to notarysojac that I'm not going to eat the meat flowers.

* * * * * * *

SInce I'm telling tales on artists, I will also add that Robin Wood nearly killed me late one night.

Robin, Jim and I were the last three people awake and we were reading each other random questions from the Star Trek Trivial Persuit. Because of this, I found that Robin is, even after all these years, still brooding over the fact that in the episode where Kirk and Spock are disguised as traders, that Spock is "a dealer in kivas and trillium." Why, she ponders, is he wandering about the galaxy with flowers and tents, and who would believe you could make a living at it.

The other thing I found out is that Robin (who grew up mainly in the Michigan area and who is to this day heavily amused by advertising slogans) cannot speak the name Kahn without going on to give him the honorific "The Weiner the World Awaited" just as all the hotdog packages of her youth proclaimed. The first time she said it, she had no idea the effect it would have on Jim and I - and you should have seen her blush when she realized what she'd said.

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