I am limp and teary, and going to babble a little and then probably collapse. Some of this will be most meaningful to those of you who have plowed through my stories (G) and some only to those who know North. Sorry. Need to babble.
I am much more emotionally wrung out tonight. I think it is a combination of Intensity (three showings in three days) No sleep to speak of, and the anticipation of knowing when things are coming.
I am finally through the *overwhelmed* stage and beginning to notice small bits that make the personal myth magic happen for me. I wished for my notebook tonight, but I could not have used it if I had it. Soon there will be growth in some of my arcs, new understanding and the glow that comes into my soul when the myth is recognized and internalized. Mine.
If I could have stopped the film like a dvd, I would have written a terzanelle for the funeral march. It happened when I realized one of the soldiers takes a small bunch of white flowers in his hand from a woman in the crowd..... It's March in Minas Trirth, and Gondor has a plant called Snow-thorn - it is named for Aiglos, the spear of Gil-Galad....
Tonight I sobbed and sobbed through the credits. It was like I was hearing the words to the song for the first time, and well, see above. Some of you know a little about the stories I don't show outside. It was "safe in my arms, you're only sleeping..." I'm crying again; really must need to sleep.
I was clobbered tonight by the Rohirrim being led out under the dark green banner of the running horse - the one that we saw tear free and land in the grass during the first approach to Edoras.
Aragorn has two lines that clobber me particularly hard -
When he tells Elrond -"The Blade that was Broken will go to Minas Tirith."
And when he talks to the king of the dead - That Blade was broken... Aragorn, incandescent, replies "It was remade."
You might as well turn on the sprinklers in the theater when Theoden says "I know your face." And when Sam says "I can carry you."
If Gandalf had said only "The grey curtain of rain parts..." he would have given me my money's worth.
I can not possibly love Faramir's brave heart enough. Must try harder.
Not too much of this yet, though I have more. Please understand they do not spoil my movie!verse experience - still:
One of those things you wish you hadn't done, because once done, you can't stop - when Frodo is lying bound in the tower, I cannot look away from what appears to be the waistband of his hobbit underwear. Like Chris and the truck with bollocks, my eye refuses to be sidetracked.
I am not one bit sanguine about the way Gandalf pushes people around with his stick. Especially Denethor in front of the Guards. But also Pippin.
I like my vengeful!Denethor better than crazy!Denethor - North can hate him with a burning righteous wrath. I don't know how to feel about John Noble's Denethor yet. He is pitiful but not pitiable. I wonder what was cut- we never saw his beautiful gear from the Weapons book.
I cringe when Gandalf tells Pip that Sauron has not revealed his great weapon yet, and begins the next sentence with - you met him on Weathertop. It is becoming Movie 3's version of my crazy-making "you have only one choice" from movie 1, always used when they had no choice at all.
I find that I am suddenly nervous about what Faramir footage we will get in the extended. As much as I want every single shot, I would be crushed if they, for instance, let her nurse him back to health... this is just free floating anxiety, right? Please?
Cause I know they said Peter had worked out a way to make it seem less - I think the word David used was "pathetic."
And today on Henneth Annun, Someone said they missed the Houses because Faramir needs Eowyn to show him he can be loved.
I *cannot* understand where this idea comes from. Denethor is the only person that *doesn't* love book!verse Faramir. The entire city adores him, and throng the streets crying his name. His need to be acknowledged by his father has never meant to me that he doesn't think he is loved, or worth loving! I don' t find him insecure with others - *I* don't like him ending up with pony-girl, but he does not court Eowyn like a man who expects to be rejected...
Well, if you read my stuff, you know Faramir's strength is the reason why I write. I just don't get it.
Most surreal memory I will cherish from Trilogy Tuesday - because we were expecting to be 24 hours away from home and up to 16 hours in the theater, we packed real food. In my case, it was protein bars. But I completely dissolved in my chair when Chris pulled out a ziplock bag,leaned over to me and asked cheerily: "Want a porkchop?" (I felt like I was in Bored of the Rings.)