At this age, I believe I would be called *What's WRONG With You!?!" And wherever obvious stupidity was abounding, I would hit people with -- oh, probably a stick. (Special circumstances might require hitting them with reference books, the OED (if I can still lift it), large framed pictures of their mother being appalled at their rudeness... you know, whatever it takes.)
If you had asked me in my 20's, this is not the hero I would have chosen to be. But, I am much, much improved since then.